Yes, it´s that time of the year again. The summer holidays and what better way to spend them than overdosing on sun, sand and sangria. Not necessarily in that order mind. You could knock the sun and sand on the head and throw in a few cold lagers to keep the sangria company but you get my drift.

Off to sunny Spain this year we were to a place called Playa La Barrosa, Chiclana in Cadiz. Now I´ve been to Spain before and must say even though I´ve enjoyed every minute I´ve felt that something was missing. Never quite been able to put my finger on it but a couple of months ago it suddenly came to me. You know, like one of those vision things and what d´ya think it was?

The language! I couldn´t speak a word of Spanish! How could´ve I missed it when there it was all the time hidden in plain sight I thought? Well, never being one to let grass grow under my feet or hair on my head off I set into the world of night school and all things unfathomable like why the central heating’s never on, why there always seems to be a bucket perched under a drip on top of a desk in the last row or why I always get to sit next to the one who´s bought a dictionary big enough to act as a foundation for the Burj Khalifa and who insists on sharing gardening tips but I digress?

Threw myself into the course with more than gusto and here´s the result.

Yeah, knew you ´d be impressed and to think a few short months ago I couldn´t say a word. Made all the difference to the holiday ta boot as the reaction from waiters and the like was so much warmer. I felt it was as if I´d made a mental connection with the locals and I have to say I started to feel like I´d found “home.”

Can´t fault the Spanish for their hospitality and I´ve made a list of the things they said to me so I can ask the teacher Marta what they mean when I go back to night school in the autumn. Yeah, no stopping me now. Anyway, here´s a list of the phrases said to me that I remember most;

“Mamarracho!”

“Gilipollas!”

“Tonto el culo!”

“Guiri de mierda!”

“Caraculo!”

“Tacaño!”

Certainly can´t wait to get back to night school!

Some useful links;

La barrosa beach

Tripadvisor

Booking.com